I’m not talking about obligatory follow through. I’m not talking about the need to reciprocate. I’m not talking about fulfilling someone else’s expectations.
I’m talking about the sheer bliss of giving BECAUSE YOU WANT TO.
With no other lingering, hidden feeling lurking behind the giving.
There’s no expectation in it, no regret, no pressure, no feeling that you “had to”. The one and only reason for the giving is because in your heart of hearts you want to. What you want. To who you want. Without needing, without WANTING anything back.
That’s right. My bliss lies in doing it. Utterly and completely in the doing.
The only thing I hope for on the other end is to see a bit of my joy reflected in the receiver’s reaction. That’s my payoff.
And what a fucking awesome payoff it is.
Last night I gathered with many beautiful people to celebrate Yule.
Throughout that night I experienced true bliss, in waves that crested and rushed over me. Over the next days I shall share what names I found for the waves.
My first bliss of Yule is the souls of my spiritual kindred. I stood amongst the woods, goddess in me, and my kindred stood by my side. They danced the ritual with me. They shared food and laughter, solemnity and grace. These aren’t just kin. These are the people that resonate with me. We are not the same but together we created a harmony that, I like to think, lifted us all up higher.
When we spoke, ideas and concepts and understanding was shared, not just words and information.
I felt like I was among my own kind. I WAS among my own kind.
Graced in bliss by my resonant kin.